Things are getting out of hand.
I'm talking about reality shows. Can you survive eating disgusting live insects in the forest for a month? If so, you're a champ! Or formally, a Survivor. The network will film you, everyone with a TV set and satellite will see you at your very sweaty and ugly worst. You get a few hours of fame. Then you fuck off.
Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Not me. I'll make a million in my lifetime at sporadic moments, cumulatively. That millionaire guy was a fucking tool. No million dollars or more will make me hang out with a dork who probably listens to Yanni in the back of his limo on the way to the theatre to watch boring opera.
Then there was the American Idol. How many people in the world can sing and dance, really? I'd be bold enough to say at least half of the population has one of these talents, if not, more. Or, at least 75% of people have the ability to entertain, in some form or another, at the very least. So big deal, you microscopic Idol.
The anti-Idol was my favorite. I forget the exact name of the show, but I watched two episodes, one being where William Hung did his famous rendition of the most ridiculous song to imitate ever, Ricky Martin's "She Moves". That was funny, but really fucking mean at the same time. Everyone made of him. Everyone is still making fun of him. I think he knows this but not the extent of people that imitate his Napoleon Dynamite style of dance moves and his off-key rendition of, did I say, one of the whackest songs ever? Ricky Martin's fucking "She Moves." * GAG *
Last night I watched the premiere of So You Think You Can Dance. WHACK WHACK and WHACK. Breakdancers who can contort their bodies into amazing headspins and windmills were not chosen for the final round but some chick Isis with huge fake breasts and a complete lack of coordination in belly-dancing was chosen. What's up? I can't figure out if they're making a mockery of these dancers or if this is genuinely a search of talented people since only a few of those chosen to go to 'Hollywood' actually had style and a repertoire of great dance moves.
And now, I get this email today about a brand new reality series upcoming:
New MC battle TV show for Turner South and SoSo Def Entertainment searching for America's dopest battle MCs.
The pilot is scheduled to be shooting mid-August so if you're interested, you MC you, send a package by 7/29/05 if you think you got what it takes. Both males and females are welcome to participate. Male and females? Oh wow. Thanks for letting women be part of this. What era are we in? Suffragettes/!
Send Packages to:
1050 Techwood Drive
Atlanta, Georgia 30318-5604
Package should include
Demo (this can be music, freestyles, video footage, etc.)
Bio (include age)
I, being an MC, will not participate in this. This is where I start to question what kind of world we live in, and what will happen next?
Who can take the biggest shit in America? or "So you think your shit is big"
Who wants to lick George Bush's Balls? or, more formally "Who can bullshit enough to suck the biggest bullshitter in the world's nutsack?"
Who can procrastinate the most? or "Can you beat Nyceone's idleness" or "Nyce Idle"